


My Best Wasn't Good Enough

by surena_13



Category: Woman Undone
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-12
Updated: 2012-04-12
Packaged: 2017-11-03 13:20:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/381773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surena_13/pseuds/surena_13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Terri reflects on her marriage and her affair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Best Wasn't Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine.

_Her lower back bumps into the table as they stumble through the small studio apartment. Terri groans but never breaks the kiss and instead just hops up on the smooth surface, wrapping her legs around Jim’s waist, pulling him closer, running her hands over his well-muscled back as he divests her of her shirt._

 

Terri told herself that she was doing it out of revenge, because Allan had tried to hit her, because he hurt her every time they made love, that it was an escape from her husband. Terri didn’t want to think that she  was doing this, fucking another man, because she wanted Allan to find out, because she wanted to get out of this marriage. Because she didn’t want her life anymore.

 

How many times had she told Allan she loved him? She couldn’t remember anymore. She tried to remember when the last time was that she had actually meant it. Lately it seemed that every time she said it was a reminder to herself that she was supposed to love him, had to love him for Miranda’s sake. The words themselves had lost all meaning to her.

 

_Jim’s lips find her throat and he nips softly at the skin with his teeth and he teases with his tongue. Never enough to leave a mark, but enough to drive her insane. She whimpers when he seeks out that spot just below her ear that makes her weak in her knees. Jim might not be particularly intelligent or smart, but he had figured out all the weaknesses during their first time._

 

The one-nightstand she had had back in Michigan had been a mistake, a drunk, horribly stupid mistake which had buried her underneath a suffocating layer of guilt and self-loathing which was why she had confessed her sin to Allan. She hadn’t wanted to keep that a secret from him, not if she wanted her marriage to survive. It had nearly broken him.

 

She wasn’t lying every time she told him that it had been nothing, that it had been just once. It had been meaningless drunk sex that had not been worth the trouble it had caused her and her family. Miranda was too young to understand what had happened. All she saw was that Daddy didn’t smile as much as he used to and that he could barely look at Mommy anymore and even when he did he had a pained expression on his face.

 

_She wants to feel him, all of him. She wants skin touching skin. She wants sweat-slicked bodies moving frantically moving together, grinding, gyrating. She wants the air to smell of sex and silence to be filled with moans and groans and whimpers. She just wants to feel raw lust and unbridled passion and nothing else. She wants Jim to fuck her until she doesn’t feel anything anymore._

 

He had left bruises on her arm when he had chased her around the bedroom, screaming that she was fucking someone else. She could understand his suspicions. It was near impossible to trust someone after they had cheated, broke their trust. But Terri couldn’t stand his anger, his uncontrollable rage, his inclination to become slightly violent.

 

She had tried, had wished, had prayed that he would trust her again, that he wouldn’t feel the need to hurt her somehow every time he saw her. But her prayers had gone unanswered and her resolve to seek comfort somewhere else had weakened considerably and then she found Jim.

 

_His hands are on her breasts, squeezing, tweaking her nipples, allowing a wave of arousal to course through her body as she rolls her hips, wanting him to take her, to fuck her. She moans, letting her hands wander to his ass, raking her nails over the skin. He jerks his hips, thrusting forward, but he doesn’t enter her yet. Instead he teases, dragging his fingers through her folds._

 

Deciding to start an affair with Jim, a swimming instructor of all things, had been a conscious decision. It wasn’t a mistake or something she regretted. Terri had wanted it. Just because she wanted to feel a man touching her without the fear of oncoming pain. She needed sex without the complicated emotions. __

She knew she should feel horrible for doing exactly what her husband feared she would do, what Allan had already accused her of. But she didn’t. She simply couldn’t muster the energy to feel guilty anymore. She had felt guilty from the moment she had had her one-nightstand until the moment she started her affair. It had just disappeared and she could bring it back.

 

_Terri cries out when Jim enters her with one smooth stroke. He feels so good inside of her. He cups her jaw and tilts her head up, capturing her lips in sloppy, open-mouthed kiss as he starts to set a rhythm,  his hands on her hips, holding her in place as she squeezes her thighs around his hips, arches her back, her breasts pressing against his chest._

 

Terri knew that she was never going to get away from him. Allan wasn’t going to allow it. Even if she did file for divorce, he would fight her every step of the way, he would try to take Miranda and if he brought up her infidelity, he would succeed. And she couldn’t let that happen, she wouldn’t let that happen.

 

_When she comes, she shudders against him, digging her nails into the skin of his back, leaving angry red welts. But Jim doesn’t seem to mind. She needs a release like this. It’s the only thing that keeps her from falling apart when she goes home to Allan and Miranda. She doesn’t love Jim, doesn’t even care about him that much, but he gives her what she needs and that’s all she wants from him._

Jim had made her realize she didn’t need Allan to survive. She didn’t need anyone anymore. She was going to get away from Allan. One way or another.


End file.
